I recently finished Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly. One thing that she constantly says is that as humans, we desire connection. I never really thought about it because we typically are in constant connection with others. Friends, family, even the person ringing you up at the grocery store or taking your Starbucks order. We are connecting with people.
When I was in eda’s control, I lost connection with so many people because I was her robot. I stepped away from relationships in fear of coming in between her desires for me. I didn’t realize at the time I was losing connection from others. I just listened to her and believed that others would in fact ruin her plans for me. That is what made me a robot, lack of connection.
When you lose connection, you realize how important it is. I moved to Charlotte, NC in July to begin graduate school in nutrition. The city is so fun, great shopping and food, and my boyfriend lives in Charlotte, so I was so excited to start a new chapter in a new city. We were so busy traveling in the fall we never had a chance to really be here. However, since the new year, we have been able to be here a lot more. Going to school (which I do not love) and not really connecting with any of the other students, I quietly sit in my seat in class and don’t talk much. If I’m not in class, I am at Starbucks getting work done or in my apartment. I have recently realized that I have completely lost connection, yet again, but not because of eda. I am alone. I sit with my thoughts, which makes it even worse. Don’t get me wrong, my boyfriend and I hang out a good bit and have a blast together. I also have a roommate, but she has a boyfriend, is a school teacher, and has family extremely close so we don’t see each other that
I have just recently lost it realizing how little connection I get. Yes, I talk to the Starbucks barista or the cashier at Whole Foods, but I yearn for more. And Cookie (my pup) is a great listener, but she can’t really reply… I don’t mean to whine (kind of), but I’ve never felt more alone. Sitting on my couch tonight is when I recognized Brene Brown’s whole point. We desperately need connection. We need to associate with others to feel human and fell important in the world. Sometimes the grass isn’t always greener, being away from many of my friends and family has been so much harder than expected. Connection is key, especially when you like to talk as much as me J